torstai 12. marraskuuta 2020

Note to self

The key is to love thyself. It's the only way to let go. Trust me on this please. I've beaten my head into a pulp onto every wall. Drawn an imaginary gun on scum. Held myself at knifepoint. Almost jumped.

I'm so tired of being angry at nothing.

So yeah, make your favorite sandwich. Take a shower. Repeat daily. 

Watch a morning cartoon before reading the news.

Pet a dog. Or a kitty.

Stop drinking so much.

Tell your bad friends to fuck off. Keep it that way.

Stop scrolling so much. Get bored once in a while.

Have a good wank.

Take a selfie.


Honestly, do you ever think about that one time when that one friend of yours did something stupid. No. No you don't. They don't either.

Remember when you felt entitled because you've always had it shitty. Don't, it doesn't work that way. Make that lemonade.

That feeling of utter loneliness you get. It's a lie. You still have too many assholes in your life. Cut them out. Keep doing it until you notice you are actually alone but feel better. Don't worry. The good ones won't go anywhere even if you take a break from everyone.

Try to think of something you liked doing as a kid. Riding a bike, drawing, collecting funny shaped rocks or something like that. Start doing it again.

Write your feelings down. Don't censor them. Be angry, be sad, be ugly. You are still being creative.

Crying is a good thing. Crying is a normal human function. Suppressing it hurts more. It's okay to grieve loss and disappointments. 

Make a deal with yourself and keep it. Build trust within you. Become the friend you need. It will radiate outwards.

People don't owe you anything. You don't owe them nothing. You need to take care of yourself. 

Healing takes time. Learn to be patient about it.

Wear a tiara and learn the art of being fabulous and not giving a fuck. Or something similar. 

People project their own insecurities and you need to understand that. It's not about you, it's more about them.

I know all of this is hard, but everything needs practice. Failure is part of the process. Repetition is key and eventually it will get easier. You can always ask for help.

Therapy is good. Taking responsibility of your own well-being is being strong.

A lot of things that feel like it matters don't actually matter. 

Cleaning is a form of banishing ritual. Work that magick.

You don't have to stay sorry if you have already said it. 

Eat dark chocolate. It's an antidepressant.

You are doing great.


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